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Submitted by: Angela Selfridge
Divorce can be one of the most emotionally draining things in a person’s life. It can also drain your bank accounts and your assets. With divorce rate going up through the recession, it is affecting more and more every day. It always seems that the man is always the bad guy. If you ever here of a divorce you always think to yourself. I wonder what “he” did. I think that is wrong. So I have decided to write this article to give men some tips on getting through a divorce and how to recover from it.
A divorce is always easier without any kids or assets but let’s face it, with six out of every ten relationships getting pregnant before marriage this is very unlikely. The man needs to step up and keep a level head even when things get emotionally fraught at least one person out of the couple needs to be steering things in the right direction. Once relationship counselling, therapy, trial separation and any other way of trying to save a marriage has failed then ensuring the divorce is done in the best possible way is important.
By arranging appointments with the lawyers to discuss the legal and financial situation and try to mediate towards an outcome is an essential part of getting through a divorce, by keeping things mediated and professional it will keep the raw emotional stress to a minimum. In most divorce situations both parties will feel like they are losing more than they are gaining whether this is financial or simply time with children, remembering that neither party is winning is important. Playing games with each others feelings and making things uncomfortable and more difficult than they need to be is just going to make the divorce more painful and may even hurt others, especially if you have children.
Sitting down with your children and being open about how things are going to change is another healthy way to stop the confusion and stress spilling over into your children s lives. If you can do this last thing as a couple and always keep to any arrangements for both parties to have access to the children is very important. Try not to cut into each other s times and always give each other space in the hand over. Do not get into discussions, arguments or have conflicts in front of the children as this will just create more hurt feeling and pain. As the man in this situation you will perhaps be seen as the bad guy in the eyes of your children if you are angry and enraged every time you see your ex partner so keeping a cool head where ever possible is important.
Try to keep relatives on either side out of any discussions between you and your ex-partner as this will usually only inflame the situation. Keep all financial discussions in the mediating appointments with professional present as this will help you get through it easier. Getting good advice can make all the difference when going through divorce so seeking a good lawyer who has experience of helping people going through divorce is essential. Protecting any funds or assets that you have before the marriage when you do not have a pre nuptial agreement can stop men from feeling like they have been taken to the cleaners in a divorce, but remember that any assets your ex partner had before marriage is rightfully theirs.
Once divorce is final, the next big step for a man is to get back on his feet. He will need to get back to dating again. Online dating has become very popular and let’s you see everything about a girl before you contact her. This is great for a man coming off of a big relationship. With Online dating he will be able to keep distance at first and email back and forth and move into a relationship without moving too fast. Online dating also is the best choice for kids. Instead of the kids seeing Dad with several women, he will just introduce the one that he matches best with.
Men should always remember, keep your head up and move along.
About the Author: Angela Selfridge is a relationship expert in the UK and offers advice and opinions on love and online dating as well as tips.For information on how dating and online dating can help after a divorce, visit
lovestruck.com
the
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experts who offer a range of professional dating services as well as speed dating events.
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